My Free MLM Help

Chapter 15:
HOW TO OUTWIT THE SIX GHOSTS OF FEAR

I know this is getting to you very late, I really
struggled with the devil himself on this chapter.
So much so that my back mussels went into
spasms.

Old Man Worry - Hill writes _
An unsettled mind is helpless. Indecision makes
an unsettled mind.

I guess I never thought of worry this way and I must
confess, I do my share of worrying. Growing up,
I worried if Mom would make it home from work,
or if Dad would come home upset and angry or not
come home at all.

I grew up in poverty, many times I remember we had no
lights or phone because there was no money to pay
the bills.Or we ate toast and milk for supper. In the
cold Minnesota winters, blankets from the Salvation
Army would hang on my bedroom wall as insulation
to keep the cold out, We only had a space heater
in the living room to heat our four room house, and that’s
not four bedrooms, just four rooms for the five of us.
I remember when I was a teenager being
approached at the grocery store for the keys to the car.
The car was being reposed. How cool was that for a
teenager to experience, NOT cool at all.

I can be a real camelion and hide what is going on
inside of me quite well. Until my body starts to speak
to me in painful ways. I don’t really know where I’m
going with this lesson, other than I recognize I have issues
with the six Ghosts of fear and I take warning.

So, with out going back to dig up any more stuff that’s
in the past, I am pushing
forward to claim my willpower and put it into
constant use, until, as Hill says it, until it builds a wall of
immunity against negative influences in my mind.
.
I am charging ahead to conquer this beast once and for all.
If I stay close to the fire, close to my mentors and close
to my own thoughts, new habits will form and I will
“conquer self and force life to pay whatever I ask of it.

Thank you Michael, Linda and Sarah, for believing in me
while I re-build and strengthen belief in myself.

Your Friend for life,
Judy Narum

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Chapter 15
The Six Ghosts Of Fear

I have lived and breathed Fear of Poverty my entire life. Every single
person in my life has added a stitch to my custom tailored suit of Fear
of Poverty and it has absorbed into every cell of my being and made itself
at home there.

That is every person in my life until now.

Every person I have ever known (up until now) speaks badly of someone else,
second guesses their choices, plants seed of doubt, adds a negative thought
vibration. They all have some comment about people who have money to bring
them down a notch. That they didnt do legitimate work to earn it, the bank owns
them or they are drug dealers or some other put down to say that these
rich people dont
deserve to have wht they earned, and every other example that Hill
listed as symptoms.

I too have participated it that crap. Its like a gigantic
merry-go-round that you
cant get off and yet you need to question what happens if I dont?
It will be the battle of my life time.

I am married to a Green ( at first I thought him Red), his programming is very
deep rooted. He is not taking this journey with me. My mother is a
Yellow personality
also has some very deep hurts and has accepted poverty or so it seems
to me. I live
with her also along with my 17 yr old son. He loves “The Secret” movie.
So at times it seems its us against them. Trying to keep the negatives away.

None of them bad mouth, or try to hinder what I am doing with my MLM.
But neither
do they ask how its going. You can feel the doubt oozing off of them. This is
not a situation I can easily remedy. It will be a harder battle for
me to fight with
their extra resistance on me but I know I can win despite that.

I have to. I have to for my sake, but I also need to do it for their sake.
They were there when I needed them and I wont leave them behind. If at sometime
they are still not on board, then they and it will be them, that make
the choice to go.
And I will be okay with that.

As I travel this journey, I have grown gradually stronger, I can see
it. I do however
have some very bad days where I am really depressed and negative and
now I even fly into
rages. I never used to be like that.

At first I thought it was PMS But then the timing was off for that.
So recently I started
to look back to figure out when it started to happen.

I have come to this ah ha moment and realized that I started getting
crabby and moody
when I started my self talks a few months ago. Seeing as this is my
3rd time through this
particular chapter. Its the one I started the Cleanse on. 31 weeks ago.

So over a period of 31 weeks my moods have gotten increasingly worse.
Now I fly into a
rage over what seems like afterwards, nothing. I can not control
what comes out of my mouth.
I do not feel any positive emotions in this state. In a lot of ways
it feels like drowning.
Some may say that I am trying to push my husband
away because he is the one who takes the hit. But that isnt it. At
first it may have been
a test but its different now.

It feels as if my old self is being pushed out by my new self and self
talk. It is
resisting the changes and is putting up a fight to stay.

My good days lately have become more frequent. I feel more peaceful
and I feel more genuine
when I talk to people. Not just in my business either. I can feel my
money agenda subsiding
to.

But then the pendulum switches direction…I look in my bank account
and go over the budget
to make the puzzle pieces fit. I question how will there be enough to
go around. How will I
be able to go to my company’s convention in Aug.

I become angry because I KNOW if I would have set some money aside
each month starting when I
learned when convention was (Since last years convention) I could
have easily had my passport
in place, money for a plane ticket, which I could have probably also
paid for an extra ticket for someone
to join me, and my other expenses. But because of this ridiculous
fear of Poverty, I procrastinated
I made excuses. I used my husbands fear of me traveling alone as an
excuse to get in my way of
my dreams and desires. I sabotaged myself.

I really could write more on the effects Fear of Poverty has had on
me. But that won’t change the
fact that, it is what I choose today that counts more.

I battle my demon everyday that wants me to look at my past and my
failures, if I do that, I give it
the edge it needs to win. I need to focus on what I want, who I want
to help and who I want to be. I need to chant to
myself that “Thoughts Are Things and we reap the rewards of our
dominating thoughts.”

These calls are saving me. I may not speak up and share very often,
ok at all, but I listen. I learn
something from each person here. I feel safe and secure that I am not
the only one fighting this battle
I have my battle that no one can win for me but me, but I am grateful
for the warriors by my side.

Thank you Michael and Linda for this group. I know if it werent for
you and Sarah,
I would accept poverty as “normal” and suffered in silence the rest of my life.

So the battle continues…

Thanks for your love, belief and patience.

Henrietta Hakes

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