Mentor ? What is a Mentor ?
Hi Sarah here;
I have been a member of Mentoring For Free for 22 months, a group
of “TRULY” like minded individuals, (yes, I said individuals each with
their own unique strengths). I have been provided the opportunity to
watch as people join this group and grow into true Mentors-
To tell ya truth, it was a bit weird at first, seeing people help people
with no (absolutely zero) financial reward. Although we know this is how
it is supposed to be , in 57 years I have never dreamed it really existed,
a large group of people such as these Mentors . One of our team
mates Ernie Hines sent this to the group today — Ever wondered
What a Mentor should be, should do ?
This is the best explanation I have ever seen , congratulations Ernie
Mentor defined ;
Throughout history the passing on of wisdom and practical
knowledge has been done by mentoring from parents, grand
parents, teachers, leaders, coaches, coworkers and friends.
I have found the word goes back to Homer’s Odyssey a
story which tells how before leaving on his long journey,
Odysseus asked a close friend to watch over and guide
his son. That friend’s name was Mentor.
Having been with Mentoring for Free less than a month,
has allowed me to study and make some observations
from the book by Marc Freedman, “The kindness of
strangers” that there are 7 habits of highly effective
mentors and they are first and foremost
1. Listening:::
It is the only way mentors can understand what people
are up against and where opportunities for developing
the relationship can be discovered.
2. Building a relationship:::
In the hurry to make a difference, mentors can forget to
take time to build a relationship and establish a firm
connection. this means carefully cultivating trust… It
means being patient. Many people will test mentors
to see if they are for real.
3. Respecting boundaries:::
When mentors ask people personal questions before
a solid relationship has been established, the most
common response is silence. People will clam up.
Mentors who do not respect their mentees’ needs
for privacy are often quick to alienate them.
4. Being sensitive to differences:::
It is necessary to realize that mentors and those
they work with come from different worlds, a reality
even for mentors who have grown up disadvantaged.
This means being aware of the embarrassment a
person might feel about being poor.
5. Providing support and challenges:::
Successful mentors are consistently there for people,
delivering a sustained message ‘You are important”
when problems arise, effective mentors resist telling
people what to do and instead work with them to
address the problems. These mentors are eventually
able to strike a balance between supporting and
challenging both nurturing people and pushing them
toward their goals.
6. Acknowledging reciprocity:::
While mentors often have to provide the initiative
early in the relationship as trust is being established,
mentoring is a two-way street. Growth, benefits and
struggles are present on both sides, and mentors
who are able to convey they are there for mutual
exchange, not just solve problems stand the greatest
chance of making a solid connection.
7. Being realistic:::
Few mentors turn lives around, but mentors who help
people move toward achievable goals can make a real
contribution. Often this means having thick skin,
tolerating unreturned phone calls, accepting the
cultural gaps that must be bridged. In the end, few
virtues in mentoring rival on going commitment and
genuine caring.
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